🕊️ Stop Dragging, Stop Projecting:🌟 Start Listening, Start Receiving. A Love Letter to Our Wounded Selves
How Unprocessed Pain Shapes LGBTQ+ Connection—and How We Can Choose Better
I wasn’t planning to write this. Those of you who follow my work know I tend to speak from optimism, depth, and emotional sovereignty. But this has been sitting too close to the surface—both in recent personal experience and in what I see rippling throughout parts of our community.
So I’m naming it. Not to dissect fractures. Not to amplify wounds. But to reflect, release, and return to what’s real.
🌪️ When Pain Speaks Louder Than Presence
Let’s be honest: most of us carry wounds. But when they speak louder than our presence, we stop relating—and start reenacting.
We say we want real connection... But then react before reflecting.
We say we want people in our lives... But then judge them before knowing them.
We say we want to be seen... But then stalk their posts, waiting to be offended.
This isn’t connection. It’s emotional surveillance. And luckily, I’m metaphysically aware enough to recognize when the energy is off—and bow out before it becomes a trap.
But this isn’t just about one interaction. It’s about what we’re doing as a community.
If we’re wounded by our past and haven’t processed it, we start projecting it onto every new person we meet. We read their posts like they’re coded messages. We analyze their preferences like they’re betrayals. We turn curiosity into threat, and openness into control.
We’re not healing. We’re repeating
💬 Preference Is Not Prejudice
Let’s be real: we all have preferences. They’re shaped by experience, attraction, energy, and resonance. They’re not rigid—they’re relational. And they’re allowed.
In the present world, where identity is often politicized or misunderstood, naming a preference can feel risky. But it shouldn’t. Saying what you’re drawn to—emotionally, spiritually, romantically—isn’t exclusion. It’s clarity.
Preference is about what feels aligned.
Prejudice is about assumption, fear, and control.
We can name our truth without diminishing anyone else’s. You can live your frequency without ranking someone else's. That’s not hierarchy. That’s sovereignty.
Live and let live. Love and let love. And let’s stop punishing people for being honest about what they’re calling in.
🧠 Trauma-Informed Means You Do Your Own Work First
To relate from a trauma-informed place means:
Slowing down before reacting
Asking questions instead of making assumptions
Noticing when your pain is speaking louder than your presence
The moment you mistake someone’s openness for betrayal… You’ve stopped seeing the person in front of you—and started arguing with your past.
📡 Social Media Is Not a Mirror—It’s a Glimpse
Let’s be honest: online platforms aren’t the place to know someone deeply. They’re windows. Echoes. Snapshots.
🌿 What I'm Calling In
I attract connection that honors emotional intelligence, nuance, and clean energetic exchange.
I call in:
Friends who move through life with depth, grace, and discernment
Partners who are emotionally present, spiritually anchored, and vibrationally aligned
Collaborators who see truth as a bridge, not a battleground
People who have done the deep work
I walk with wholeness, and I meet those who do the same.
I welcome relationships of all kinds—romantic, platonic, creative—that feel like co-creation.
🔥 We Have to Be the Change We Say We Want
Some might say, “Why should I be the one to pause? They started it.” But someone has to start. If we want things to change, it begins with us. And if you’re not willing to do that work—then stop complaining when the cycle repeats.
💫 And if you need a final gentle reminder...
“Don’t get lost in your pain, know that one day your pain will become your cure.” — Rumi.
Wishing everybody a beautiful weekend ahead - with love, light and positivity. Coach Adam.😎⭐🙏
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With love, light and positivity - Coach Adam.⭐🙏😎